


Just Ren and Nana

by Tea (graychalk)



Category: Nana
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Community: 31_days, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-18
Updated: 2006-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-30 06:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graychalk/pseuds/Tea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she ever wanted was to be just Ren and Nana, without parenthesis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Ren and Nana

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the 04/18/2006 prompt, _(in parenthesis)_ at the 31_days community on LJ.
> 
> The timeline of this fic is fairly broad and probably covers the span from when Ren joined Trapnest to some time after Nana arrives in Tokyo and BLAST begins to gain popularity. No spoiler for any specific bits beyond the first couple volumes though.

 

It was not something Oosaki Nana openly shared with others. But it was there, nonetheless, her feeling of worthlessness.  
  
Nobuo used to often reprimand her for having too much pride, but what did he know? All her life, there was always something that came attached to her name, hanging over her head like a wraith of half-truths and lies.  
  
 _(The girl who was abandoned by her mother.)_  
  
 _(The girl who sold her body for money.)_  
  
 _(The girl who got expelled and killed her grandmother with shame.)_  
  
Perhaps it was laughable, maybe even foolish. What kind of pride could someone like her have? Yet, her pride was hers alone - the only thing she had left. The only thing she could still hang onto anymore.  
  
.  
  
They once asked her, if it was so terrible, being just Ren's girlfriend. She certainly loved him enough.  
  
But they wouldn't understand and she would never explain, because being known as Ren's girlfriend was the one thing she hated most.  
  
 _Honjou Ren (Trapnest's lead guitarist) and his girlfriend (Oosaki Nana)._  
  
It was ironic in a way.  
  
Being with Ren was the only thing she had ever truly wanted.  
  
.  
  
More and more, she knew they looked at her and wondered if she might have done things differently had she known how it was all going to turn out. But that way always led to a dead end, because she also knew, better than anyone else, that nothing could have changed.  
  
It wasn't her who left.  
  
 _(The girl who sang for Ren's old band.)_  
  
Instead, all that remained was a chain yanking her forward, with a key that didn't manage to lock anything but the past.  
  
No, it had never been her choice to begin with.  
  
.  
  
Sometimes, the depth of her resentment scared her. It was like a disease that grew and grew, strangling and smothering the breath out of her. The more famous he became, the deeper it burrowed.  
  
A better person could have found a way to be happy for him. A less prideful person may have let it go.  
  
But she was neither of those.  
  
For her, his fame had only ever meant one thing, only ever told one tale. And the bigger it got, the more she couldn't forget.  
  
Because, how does one go about forgetting a reminder?  
  
 _(The girl Ren left behind.)_  
  
He was stolen from her, and she didn't think she could ever learn how to be happy for that. It frightened her all the same, this single-minded need to surpass Trapnest at all cost.  
  
When had their love stopped being enough?  
  
.  
  
Meeting Ren, loving him, being loved by him... he was like a beacon shining so brightly that gravitating towards him was the only natural thing to do. Blindingly sharp but beautiful, it had filled her with a kind of warmth that was almost equally painful. It was strange, in hindsight, why the possibility had never occurred to her - why she had never considered that he wouldn't always be by her side.  
  
The day he got on that train, the light left with him, and a trail of darkness sped towards Tokyo like a tunnel beckoning her to follow.  
  
 _Ren's girlfriend (Oosaki Nana)._  
  
There was only ever one path left that she could have taken.  
  
There was only ever one place she could shine with him.  
  
Not in the shadows, and not in his parenthesis. But on the stage. Bright, standing firmly on her own, next to him like how they were always supposed to be.  
  
.  
  
They said she chose her pride over her happiness as a woman, but to her, they were one and the same.  
  
 _Ren and Nana._  
  
Without parenthesis. In the end, that was all she wanted.  
  
Just like Sid and Nancy.

 


End file.
